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Watching a loved one struggle with drug or alcohol problems is a heart wrenching experience. You want to offer your support as they deal with their demons, but sometimes that support makes the addiction worse. How do you know the difference between helping and enabling?

Sometimes the Best Help is No Help

When people do something for addicts that the addicts are capable of doing for themselves, that isn’t helping; it’s enabling. By shielding addicts from their lives and from the consequences of their actions, they can learn from their mistakes or see the hard their actions have on others.

To addicts, drugs or alcohol is a natural or normal part of their lives. As long as their needs are being met and the road is smooth, why should they change what they do?

Some common examples of how we enable are:

• Paying legal expenses such as bail and traffic tickets
• Providing housing, food, clothing when the addict is out of work
• Covering up for the addict’s behavior by making excuses for absences to employers or schools
• Taking care of the addict’s family from simple babysitting to allowing the children to live in our home.

Why Do We Enable?

We enable our addicted loved ones for the best of reasons. We think we are helping. What kind of father/sister/friend/etc. would we be to turn our back on someone in need?

It gives us a sense of control. It makes us think we are supporting the addict on the road to recovery. It soothes our own frustration and feelings of helplessness.

And yet, we are just making the addict’s life harder.

Help An Addict and Help Yourself

Addiction is a serious medical problem and requires professional help. We don’t try to take out our own appendix and we shouldn’t try to cure addiction by ourselves.

The Mark Houston Recovery Center is a drug rehab facility in Texas that caters to the unique needs of men with addictions. We treat the entire person not just the drugs or alcohol. Our goal is to guide help our residents become productive citizens by giving them a well-rounded skill set that includes education on money management and personal goal setting.

Tags: Addiction //