Supporting But Not Enabling

At Mark Houston Recovery we’re often asked to define the difference between supporting and enabling. The first thing you should do is have a clear understanding of what these words mean.

Enable: To make able; give power, means, competence, or ability to; authorize: to make possible or easy; to make possible or easy; render capable or able for some task

Support: To keep from weakening or failing; strengthen; to undergo or endure with patience or submission; tolerate; to sustain (a person, the mind, spirits, courage, etc.) under trial or affliction; to uphold (a person, cause, policy, etc.) by aid, countenance, one's vote, etc.; back; second.

Mark Houston Recovery understands and appreciates the support of a family. Without support, the addict/alcoholic stands a chance a relapse, and a chance to not succeed in his efforts for recovery.

The True Meaning of Support

Supporting an alcoholic/addict who is sober and in recovery is allowing them to assume responsibility for their lives, enabling is you doing all of it for them.  It is one thing to help your son get into a sober living home; it is another to keep paying for it month after month.  Supporting them is encouraging them to get a job; to pay their bills; to pay their car insurance; to become self supporting; Enabling is doing all of that for them.

Supporting is you removing yourself from playing police officer in your loved one’s life; you stop the daily phone calls, the incessant worry and relax and let them live their own lives. Supporting is knowing that you will be a part of their lives as long as they are doing recovery and pursuing a responsible sober life; enabling is they stop all that and you still help them. With the right support the path to recovery becomes an easier road to navigate and one that you as family of the addict, can help keep them on.