Making Amends - The Ninth Step

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As we continue with a step each month of the year, September brings us to focus on the 9th step of the 12-step program, which requires us to make "direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.” This step can be very difficult, for after we have made a list of the people we have harmed by our addiction, we now have to directly confront these people and apologize. As recovering alcoholics and addicts, we must go out into the world, set appointments for face to face meetings or phone calls and do our best to clean up the wreckage of our past. Often times, addiction becomes a very selfish thing where the only thing that matters is satisfying our craving for alcohol or drugs. With this kind of behavior, many people can potentially get hurt and therefore may not be so open to receiving our apologies. But we still must make it through this step, because only by completing each step can we truly set out on our road to recovery.

Forgiveness and the 9th Step

Some people look upon this 9th step as the forgiveness step as well, for we come across the idea of forgiveness many times as we do our best to make amends. Not only must we apologize for the things we've done, but people may have done things to us which require the same forgiveness we hope to receive. As we begin this process, we must carefully go through our lives backward and see where we need to make amends. We must look at family, friends, past employers, and other relationships to see where our efforts to live a life based on self will due to addiction has put us in collision with others. We must do our best to set right what went wrong. It is in this step that we become connected to our fellow brothers and sisters on the journey called life. Amends should be sincere efforts to apologize for past harm, and can be wonderful steps toward building more positive relationships and also effective agents for removing the tremendous weight of guilt, shame, and remorse. If we owe money to somebody, it should be repaid. However, we need to be open to any response we get from people we've injured, and be ready to accept their response without becoming angry. We are not there to manipulate them into forgiving us. If the person is not ready to hear amends, leave an open invitation to talk whenever and wherever they might feel comfortable in the future.

Owning Up to Our Mistakes in Recovery

Step Nine can seem overwhelming and frightening. Doing the step correctly takes courage, caution, good judgment, and a careful sense of timing. It can be difficult to own up to our past mistakes, but we need to be encouraged by the thousands of others who have successfully completed this step. We must know that we do not walk the road to recovery alone. Through completion of the 12 step program at Mark Houston Recovery Center, people can get rid of their addictions and begin a new, sober life.